Having a jam...

Yesterday I asked my flatmate to have a bit of a ‘jam’. We hadn’t played together in months and I was really missing sharing music with her. She was really enthusiastic when I suggested it and immediately went inside to get the instruments.  I got out my guitar to play with, and found her sitting outside already with her older guitar. This is how we always did it – she uses her guitar and I play the djembe or we swap roles.  Before I sat down I decided to get my songbook as we often fumble around trying to remember the chords and lyrics to the songs we play and because of this, we had written song chords and lyrics down when we last played together. I got my book and the djembe and went and sat on the couch with her. I loved the familiar feeling of sitting with a musical instrument in hand waiting before the start of singing with someone else. We chose a song that we always love to sing – it’s our ‘go to song’ called ‘black silk ribbon’. We both love it for its tune and harmonies and sometimes find ourselves singing this song over and over, trying to refine the harmonies, but never getting sick of it. Just before we started playing, my flatmate asked me to play the guitar instead of the djembe, as this is what we usually do when we play this song. I’m a bit better at the strumming and she knows the beat on the djembe really well. I was happy to play, but fumbled a wee bit in my transitions as I hadn’t played guitar in a couple of weeks. Her guitar is a rather old, nylon stringed guitar that always sounds a bit out of tune. However I didn’t get my newer, more tuneful guitar as it didn’t seem right – this is how we’d always done it, so why change a good thing? We sang the song over once, and immediately sung it again. We didn’t even have to say ‘shall we go again?’ we just knew that we both loved it and would sing it until one of us would say ‘ok how about xxx song……..’ Our voices were a bit rusty, but because we had sung it so often in the past, the essence of the song was still there and eventually we started hitting all the right notes. The end of the song is a real problem however.  I can’t stand singing the ending as it’s a funny change of tune but my flatmate always keeps going and it just fades out. Although we both mentioned yet again that we need to change the end, we didn’t! And I wonder if we ever actually will! My flatmate then suggested that we sing the ‘train’ song. I was thinking of another song that we usually sing and said ‘don’t you mean the boat song?’ and proceeded to flick to the page in the book that the ‘boat’ song was on. However she described the song she wanted to sing more in detail and it dawned on me that I had forgotten about the ‘train’ song - probably because we had only played it once or twice together when we last jammed. We sung this song through once, then my flatmate suggested we have a verse to sing each. I love changing songs and singing them a bit differently – which I usually do to this song when I sing it by myself, but my flatmate is the exact opposite – she sings the song exactly like it is on the recording. So everytime we sung the chorus together, we would sing it a bit differently - but being a bit of a self confessed musical perfectionist I wanted it to sound the same, so I found myself singing the chorus to her way and hoping that the original way wouldn’t get stuck in my head when I would next sing the song by myself. The fear of becoming too ‘samey’, or trying to sound exactly like the artist that the song was from is an innate fear of mine! As we continued to play and sing together, we didn’t swap the guitar over like we usually do in order to have turns on the drums. We were both happy in our roles, and as it was my songbook, I think there is an unspoken sort of rule that says – your music, your lead (the guitar leads the tune of the song). However we both really enjoyed playing together and this was evident when we finished and simultaneously exclaimed "we need to do this more often!!" I felt so happy and relaxed having a wee jam. I remembered how much I miss the social interaction (or lack of) when I’m singing by myself, and I absolutely adore making harmonies with someone else. I find it fascinating that two people can sing different notes, but they sound so lovely together! The communication between my flatmate and myself is so important. No more do I have to take just myself into consideration, but I must also be aware of my actions and their influences on the other person. Developing our social relationship, by shared meaning and understanding, results in both of us wanting the same outcome – play music together, whilst developing a relationship with the other person. We are both reliant on each other for singing different parts, being on tune and playing in time together.

After we had finished, I went to my room to get ready to go out, and found myself humming the last song’s tune over and over. It was stuck in my head - must have been a good song! As I passed my flatmate outside I found her whistling the same tune, “Songs remain. They last…that’s the power of songs" (Gaiman, 2005, p.451).

Gaiman, N. (2005). Anansi Boys: Harper Torch.